FAIR VIEW

The final time I was with Luke in my room was in late summer. He was on my bed with his pants off and his erection was pointing at the ceiling. It was daytime. His erection was long enough that it reached his bellybutton. I remember thinking that sticking up like that, surrounded by his soft brown pubic hair, it looked like a throne waiting for the princess to sit upon. But sex with him was out of the question, because I didn’t love him. I wanted my first sexual encounter to be with someone I loved. Nonetheless, I wanted to do something memorable to him. I had heard that when he was with Tammy she had blown him and gagged on his penis because it was so big. I felt under pressure to compete and was leaving for college soon.

I didn’t know a thing about how to give a blow job. I did now that the penis had to go into your mouth, but that was it. So, as Luke lay back on the bed, I kissed his nipples and then worked my way down his stomach to his navel. There was a bit of moaning and toe curling. Good. Then, I put my mouth on the side of his penis. He sat up right away looking alarmed and I stopped. “What are you doing? Do you know how many germs are in your mouth?” He excused himself so that he could go home a shower right away.

I guess I was wrong about Tammy.

Sometime after that, Luke invited me to come with him to his new church. He explained that he had never in all his days experienced anything like it and would really like to know what I thought about it. What was unusual about it was that people were speaking in tongues and it seemed really real to him. My thoughts, which I did not share, were something along the lines of what the fuck bullshit is this? But I went with him anyhow. Leastways it would be entertaining.

Boy was it. The church was small, but ordinary looking. It was an all white congregation and the service began normally. Then we all joined hands, ugh, I hate that, and it got freaky. People here and there were speaking in tongues. It is really weird if you have never seen it. It sounded like lots of gobbledy gook to me. But then, I got the biggest surprise as Luke began speaking in tongues. I did a quick double take. Yup. Luke was speaking in tongues. I was tempted to do a quick, gee, look at the time and skip out of there but I had no transportation home. So I waited patiently until the service was over. The Luke looked at me and asked what I thought. I did my best to hide my feeling that he had taken leave of his senses and I hope that I succeeded in sparing his feelings. Luke was a really gentle soul and I owed him a lot for teaching me the art of love and being my companion. Who knew, I might even catch up with him over the summer.

I was also a real jock at school. Well, as much as one can be at 5 feet 3 inches and 95 pounds. I was captain of the synchronized swimming team (please don’t laugh), on the gymnastics team, ran track, and played intramural volleyball. I was invited by the coaches to play soccer and field hockey, but my mom wouldn’t give me permission because I had braces on my teeth and she didn’t want to ruin her investment.

I took advanced placement biology and English and got good grades in everything but French. I won a Regents Scholarship that would pay for my tuition if I attended college in New York State. That was important because there would be 4 of us in college at the same time, me, my sister, my brother and my mom, who was going for her doctorate in English Literature at Stony Brook. Her only income was as a high school English teacher. I wanted to major in art, and showed great talent and promise throughout my education and especially in senior year, but mom said that she would not pay for me to study anything but science. My brother, Verne had already been at a state school at Cornell studying plant biology for two years and my twin sister Evie was accepted at Notre Dame to study chemical engineering.

I applied to three schools and Cayuga was the only one that I was accepted at. I applied to Nassau Community College, but they were overwhelmed with applications and had a lottery and guess who didn’t win. I also applied to Binghamton, but was not accepted there either. So, Cayuga it was where I was planning to major in biology.

Luke and I continued to fool around with our pants on (dry humping – pathetic I know) until late one summer night we were out laying down on the lawn in my pitch dark backyard. We could hear the cicadas in the sycamore trees above us whirring loudly. We had progressed to the point where he was putting his hand into my pants for the first time, which I really liked because he had these big long fingers that were really strong and dexterous from playing all that organ music. Let’s just say that he was really good at manual masturbation. I was also putting my hand into his pants. Actually he just pulled his erection out of his pants for the first time and it was huge. He showed me how to stroke it and I did my level best. As I did it, his breathing got faster, his head rolled back and his mouth slacked open. His legs began to flex uncontrollably. I became a little frightened. What was happening to him? This couldn’t be good. So I stopped and rolled over away from him. He said, “Why did you stop?” I only whimpered in response. “Did you get bored?” He said angrily in a mocking tone as if it had happened before.

“No, I was scared of what was happening.” I replied meekly.

“Oh, no Susie. There is nothing to be scared of. I was enjoying it. Everything is going to be okay.” He said sympathetically. He cuddled me closely and I felt comforted and I understood that that is how men react when they are turned on and it is a good thing. So I turned back to him and continued stroking. He had lost some of his erection, but it came back quickly. Not that much later, I watched in awe as he came for the first time with me and his semen spurted onto his mostly hairless stomach and chest. Then he lay back quietly, sated. He had his thoughts and I had mine.

I was jealous that he had such an obvious marker of his orgasm while I did not. I wasn’t even sure if I had had an orgasm yet. What he did felt good, sure. But an orgasm, who could tell? I certainly couldn’t. This is what I thought as I lay beside him in the green summer grass; he being sated and I who knew not.

At some point during the week, my mom told me that Luke had another girl friend at her high school. She was a pretty Jewish girl named Valerie and Luke walked around the school with his arm around her. I even knew the girl. My response was, “So what?” I was pretty sure that Valerie wouldn’t let Luke get too far with her sexually since she was Jewish anyhow. Besides, I would rather have been dating Luke than no one at all.

Luke used to sing madrigals in the choir at school and play the organ at his church. No kidding. I think we made every organ joke on the planet and he suffered them all with a straight face. He had been accepted to a religious college that specialized in these and I think they had one of the biggest organs in at a college in Northeast America. (I couldn’t help but giggle.) I think he wanted to teach music.

His college’s organ

I didn’t understand quite what he meant. But then suddenly, we heard the front door of the house open and Lance’s voice say, “Are they upstairs?” We didn’t have long to get presentable and we could hear him charging up the stairs and then he burst in the room and said, “Caught ya!” But we were pretty much dressed. Luke’s pants were up and zipped and his polo shirt was hanging un-tucked hiding his erection. My shirt was buttoned but my bra was not hooked and my shoes were off. I was angry as a wet hen. How dare he burst into my room; he didn’t even knock. I was at a loss for words and left just brushing past him and heading for the bathroom. Once there, I fixed my bra. When I came out everyone was in the living room downstairs and Lance said, “Everything back in place?”

I really was a lame ass nerd in high school. I thought I was cool, wearing my worn jeans and picturing myself a hippie, but somewhere deep inside I knew I wasn’t. So when this guy from the other high school in town took an interest in me I was really excited about it. His name was Luke. He was six feet tall with brown hair and eyes with a muscular swimmer’s build. He was very smart and used to hang out with all of us teens in front of the local movie theater. Since my mom was a teacher at his high school, the other one in our town, her current and former students used to hang out at our house also. He was one of those too. So, I saw a lot of him. We used to play chess, and pathetic chess player that I am, he used to beat the crap out of me regularly. But, I was accustomed to that, since I was outclassed by everyone in my family and regularly got slammed. But, he did buy me a book on strategies of playing chess which I read. That was after the time of the great 1972 Boris Spassky vs. Bobby Fisher chess match and I remember babysitting with that match on the television and forcing a little baby to watch it by tying him into this baby seat contraption. He never cried; actually he seemed to glaze over at the black and white pieces on the screen. I pictured that someday he would grow up to be a great chess master and everyone would wonder where he got his skills. Anyway, at that time chess was really big.

Ah, the magic time of someone taking an interest in you; you feel so special. I felt terrified and unworthy. But I glowed anyhow. He was taking an interest in me. Why? I had no idea. Why would this attractive young man be interested in me? Oh well, I just went with it. I was smart and cute, maybe that was enough. Then I thought about all of the jerks in my high school; yeah, they didn’t know what they were missing out on. Assholes! Losers! Come to think of it though, I had driven a couple of potential suitors away. There was the really cute guy in Mathletes that asked me to join up with him in a competition, but I steered him to another cute, smart girl and now they were dating. Then there was the really popular guard on the basketball team that intercepted me on my bike outside the high school on the weekend. God, he was a dreamy hunk. I could never imagine he would be interested in me. He got my front wheel between his legs, held my handlebars and asked me where I was going and could we just talk a while. Of course I was terrified and couldn’t wait to get away. But, maybe I misinterpreted that and he just really wanted to get to know me.

Anyhow, there were a whole bunch of us teens that used to hang out. In our usual crew was my twin Evie, Luke and his friends from his school, the other high school in our district, Tammy and Lance. Lance was what we would call a twink today with curly blond hair and an angelic face and followed Luke around like a puppy. Tammy always seemed older looking to me, like she was in her early twenties, and was beautiful and exotic with long black hair. Rumor had it that she and Luke had already dated. But, I had my doubts because she was Jewish and he was Protestant. Where I grew up on Long Island you were either Jewish or Gentile. Jewish people would socialize with us, but we were not good enough to date. But, it was the Jewish person’s call as to whether to date or not. I learned this the hard way. One day in my English class the handsome classmate at the desk in right front of me turned and was chatting to me about an upcoming dance, when the student at the desk to his left whispered to him, “You know, she’s not Jewish.” Well, that ended that conversation lickity split. He just turned right to his front as if nothing had ever happened. I, of course, was heartbroken. Tammy’s mother was also a teacher at her high school. Our little bunch would routinely go to each other’s houses all of which were within walking distance of each other.

Occasionally our group would get split up and one night Luke offered to walk me home from his house. It was a cool and misting early spring night and as we crossed a barren weedy lot, he held my hand to stop me and began kissing the top of my head. I wasn’t really sure what was going on up there, so I just stood still. Then he took his right hand and lifted my chin up so that I was looking at him and he lowered his mouth to mine. Our lips met and it began as an innocent closed kiss at first, but then he opened his mouth and so did I. His tongue entered my mouth and gently explored it. He held me closer. I gave him just a bit of suction and he seemed to like that. He pressed his body against mine and I could feel his erection through his jeans. Then he moved away and asked me if I was okay. I replied that I was and he walked me the rest of the way home his hand around mine. I was really excited because I now had a boyfriend.