Category: ‘Safe Sex’
My husband Dirk and I have just one rule in our relationship: “Never bring home anything you don’t want to share.” It works on all sorts of levels. For example, if Dirk meets someone he thinks is hot and wants to hook up with him, I’m always invited to join them… or I can say, “No thanks, but you boys have fun.” I’m extended the same courtesy. It fosters a sexual openness that is both liberating and exhilarating; as long as I feel included, I’m not jealous at all.
There’s more to the One Rule, though, and it pertains to sexually-transmitted diseases. We have an open relationship, and on top of that we both work in the adult film industry. The bottom line is that we’re having sex with men other than just ourselves. And shit happens.
A few summers ago I started dating an amazing man. We were inseparable; our chemistry was great and we had lots of fun. We also had lots of sex, and despite the fact that we’d each recently tested negative for every STD known to man, we always used a condom: He’d lost his first boyfriend to AIDS and was adamant about being safe.
Fast forward a little over four months. Winter was approaching, and there was this big holiday fundraiser that I was really looking forward to taking him to. The day before the event I got a very strange voicemail from him. His quivering, quiet voice said, “Hey, it’s me. I can’t come to the party this weekend. I don’t even know if we can be together anymore. Bye.” Needless to say, I freaked. Things had been going great. I called him back, shaking as I dialed. When I spoke to him, he was choking back tears.
He’d tested positive for HIV.
A guest post from Brenton of AUSSIELICIOUS:
Yet again, it’s World AIDS Day. Hopefully one day this day will be a day to remember those that we’ve lost to AIDS rather than a day to also try and raise awareness and talk about safety. There is still such a long way to go with this fight. Nearly all the porn studios have caved to the demand for bareback sex and the rate of infection in young men is growing because they just don’t see HIV as a problem. The only reason people treat HIV differently to something that requires constant lifelong treatment like diabetes is because it’s a sexually transmitted disease and we all know that men lose the ability to form rational thoughts when their dick is hard.
There is still a lot of stigma against HIV+ men if they are brave enough to disclose their status to a sexual partner but those conversations and education are the only way we are going to move forward to keeping people safe and reducing the stigma. Please play safe boys. Don’t make assumptions about safety or someone’s status. You are the only person who can truly look after yourself so treat everyone you sleep with as if they may be positive and use condoms.
Lucas Entertainment announced yesterday that adult entertainer Trenton Ducati has signed a 3 month exclusive contract to do bareback scenes with them. I have long been a fan of Mr. Ducati’s as well as his anti-drug message, but this changes things, drastically. Yes, Trenton is an adult and is free to make his own career choices. However, as a role model for healthy living this is a huge misstep and big mistake. There exists a possibility that all those people who quit drugs because they followed the advice of Mr. Ducati will now again follow his advice and go condomless. Plus the possibility that folks who didn’t need his advice on drugs but watch his films will go condomless. Disaster. The responsibility for this is on Mr. Ducati’s head. He was enabled by Lucas Entertainment and Adam Killian. For shame!
What a sellout! This just goes to show how much Trenton and Adam really don’t give a shit about the health and well being of their fans. Nice! WTF! Well, now you have one fan less to worry about.